Blog of the SHORT one

Almost at the finish line people, esp to those graduating this semester…WE are almost THERE!!!…just a few more weeks. Somehow I can’t help but think too much about what is going to happen in the next few seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years…I guess the stress of studying is finally getting to me plus all the other shit that has been goin on (not necessarily with my life but stuff with my family too)…Parents are here for my "graduation" (if i make it through that is)…First of all…I’m worried bout graduation, I’ve just been so swamped with work that I have sometimes lost hope in it all, but then again I think to myself if I do give up not only am I giving up on myself but I’ll also be giving up on my friends who have helped me so far throughout my studies and all…but doubts no matter what always seem to find their way into my head these past few weeks.

So much shit going on with my family as well, sister giving me and my family a massive headache with personal relationship issues and I guess im not helping when i told my mum that I am not lookin forward to livin with her any longer…as soon as I start working and saving money, I said I might move out, I think this also kinda worried my Mum who hoped that I would stay with my sis to jaga her (even though I am the younger one) and look out for each other. Now since my parents have arrived, they have also told me many stories of what has been happenin back home with my other relatives and I’ve been so shocked with all the news that I feel so worried bout those back home.

This then doesnt help because I am planning to apply for my PR this year and to think once I do get it I wun be goin back so often anymore, the place where I grew up at, the place where I call home, the place with the most fondest of memories and the worse ones as well…but then again the PR thing is a good move I guess coz of the different lifestyle here which is not so hectic and also there are better prospects for my future here (tat’s what everyone tells me)…I just cant make up my mind to be honest, one part of me doesnt mind staying here because I know I can make much more of myself here compared to back home but at the same time home is home no matter what goes on back there.

Even on my birthday for once I wasnt in the mood to party and was plannin to have a quiet one…just dinner with the fam but eventually my friend did bring me out to party hard but to tell u the truth, when we got there I was still thinking of all the things I’ll have to face the next day, but I guess thank god for alcohol for taking my mind off things, and esp my friends for cheering me up and helping me have a good time.

I guess the main question that everyone has at the end of the year or semester, is that "can i make it through???"…I’ve never asked myself that because to me, I never really had any real problems to deal with, yes u can call me lucky or good fortuned, but now i fully understand why some people come to me and say "hopefully I can make it through"…well to all my friends, bros, relatives and people I dun even know, I hope u do make it through with flyin colours and all that shit, and if there is ever a problem pls dun be too afraid to talk about it because (i know this all sounds very cliche but I cant help it) letting it out is better than keeping it in and doin stupid things… peace out!

First let me thank my bros for making it such a great nite!!! U know who u people are! Godskitchen, an international rave that was held in Melbourne on Oct 7…My first ever rave and omg what a night it was! Went with my bro Jack (not biological bro) and some of his friends who were superb lah…they just took care of me the whole night and made me feel part of the group…Not a single one of em were anti-social or snobbish it was all good BABY!!! At first I thought, "hmmm this wouldnt really be my scene" but after a few minutes listenin to the music and getting into it, I said to myself "OMFG!!! What have I been missing out on?!!!" Alwin if ur reading this then, I’m sorry MACHA for not believing u! lol

Everyone was so friendly and loved up coz u know lah all drugged up lol…but no matter what it was so cool and awesome, esp the DJs…full props to them for making it a fantastic night as well…

First of all I would like to pay my respects to two Australian greats…racing legend Peter Brock and the one and only Steve "The Crocodile Hunter" Irwin. If u have no idea who Peter Brock is then it’s ok coz only those who follow racing in Australia will know that he is a legend of the track. However, if you have no idea who the hell Steve Irwin is, then I’m sad to say u have no life and u live in a small hole somewhere in the darkest corner of ur so called house. Sorry to b harsh but how can u not know who this legend is, "CRIKEY!!!" (ring any bells???) n if u do know him then how the hell would u not love this guy. To all those that hate him, go FUCK URSELF ok!!!

Man I also realised that I havent written anything in my blog for a long long time…geez.

These guys all died doing the things they love. Peter Brock - Racing and Steve Irwin - nature itself. They will always be remembered for what they do best and what they love. This got me thinking, will I die doing what I love or will I die a lonely, sick, depressed young/old man who does shit just to get by in life. Like why do people go through things that make them depressed? Ok fair enuff if u do it for awhile just to get started but why would u want to continuously do it to urself and feel like CRAP!!!

Things shouldnt be taken for granted, esp your own life and how you live it. Sure somethings you dream off are not very possible like, marrying Kate Beckinsale and having 3 kids and a nice cottage home in the country, but then again (this is one of my favourite quotes from "Wicker Park") "Things dont have to be extraordinary to be beautiful", which to me makes a lot of sense. I know all this might sound contradictive…dun do something u hate, do something u love, although it is not possible to get it all the time…but u see if u get wat i mean, there will always be something u as a person are capable of getting and it will be as beautiful as u want it to be.

Ive been telling myself, you should grab your oppurtunities at every chance you get but then again it isnt always very easy. However I would like to thank my friends and especially my family for keeping me together when sometimes I feel like
there isnt much to look forward to. Keep safe y’all and have fun, PARTY HARD!!!

Jack, Azlan n me playing dead after a hard day’s work at RMIT…lol I love this pic

First of all I would like to extend my greatest, deep-felt condolences to my good bro/friend Calvin…I’m sorry for your lost and I wish I was back home to comfort u and tell u that everything is going to be fine although it isnt at the moment.

Isn’t it wonder why we humans dun cherish what he have? Do we not know how much our parents’ suffer to bring us up? Do we not know how much people have done to help us even if it is not in a visible manner? Sometimes even I feel like i’ve let people down because I dun show them how much I cherish what they have done for me…The best example would b my parents, sometimes I just feel as though Im still being treated as a lil boy but in actual fact they are just takin care of me n watching out for me as no matter how old you are, a person can never say that they do not need others to watch over them. Yes in some situations, a person has to make their own decisions but not always…this might sound contradictive but to me that’s how life is…it contradicts u everytime…when u say this, what actually happens is tat, and so on…

What is a relationship? I had a talk to someone the other day bout this and wat we agreed on is tat relationships arent just about being an official ‘couple’, being someone’s bf or gf…wat is tat? All that to me is just namesake…being in love would be all d sweet and passionate things in life…just talkin randomly with ur loved one without caring what others might think…It is not all rainbows and butterflies too i realised…Who can admit that they havent had a bad situation happen between their partner n themselves? If there is such a person, I congratulate u on having the most insanely boring relationship ever…hehehehe…

The main thing is tat we never do admit how much we love a person until it is too late…I know it sounds cliche but heck, tat’s what i think…So i would like to say this to my parents, family, relatives and friends (good or bad)…I LOVE U ALL n quit thinkin IM GAY!!! lol

Shit, I didnt realise it’s been so long since I’ve posted a post…My life must b so boring i guess that I have nothing to write…WRONG!!! hehehehehehe…I’ve just been v busy with uni stuff n stressed. Dun ask me why? but im just stressed ok…let it SLIDE!

Every week is like test this test that, assignment this, assignment that…OMG it’s literally ripping my brains out…It aint helpin that my soccer team isnt doin that great in the Victorian Amateur League we just joined this year. I guess it is the physical side of it we werent prepared for, but then again we score a lot of goals but just let in really really really silly ones…omg I cant believe it man, u cant imagine how silly the goals are that are let into the back of our own net. I guess we can only learn from this but we have to do it soon before everyone gets frustrated n that…okok i dun think u guys wanna hear me blabber bout my OH SO BORING SOCCER LIFE…but then again u people do know I have nothing else to look forward to other than my soccer rite…soccer is my life…No gf so no need to worry bout tat…hahahahaha…sometimes it is good to be single…I repeat…SOMETIMES! hahahahaha

Oh yeah back to stressing out…i was so stressed out that I finally got a pimple after a couple of months (the medication ive been takin has solved the pimple problem), so I tot ‘eh’ just one small pimple after so long, shouldnt be a problem…WRONG!!! It fuckin got bigger n bigger n bigger…bloody hell I felt like im in tat move VOLCANO…u know where the volcano appears out of nowhere n slowly emerges n then erupts non stop!!! I got so annoyed with this pimple i burst it like 3 times n it still kept on coming out…n i was like, ‘eh i dun think this is an ordinary pimple..must be one from OUTER SPACE sent to get me!!!’ hahaha i know kinda far fetched. But then i couldnt even sleep at nite without takin asprin to stop the pain (oh yeah i forgot to mention, it hurt like HELL)…when the asprin wore off in the middle of the nite I would wake up again in pain n have another one…OMG!!! I tot to myself…i cant take it Im gonna go see a doctor…d doctor who mind u wasnt v cheery to a patient in pain said it was n infection n then he got a cotton bud n some antiseptic n starting poking into my nostril (oh yeah the pimple was just under my left nostril poking out a bit so it was pressing between the lips n nostril) n started rubbing the fuckin thing in my nose where the pimple was…I WAS LIKE OMG!!! WTF U DOIN (in my head of course) and he said it was an infection and he’ll give me some antibiotics n hopefully i clears up within the next few days…

IF NOT!!! he’ll have to cut it open to get all the nana (pust-however u spell it) out!!! I was like…U GOT TO BE JOKIN!!! *peeing in pants* b4 the antibiotics id wake up every mornin havin to clear the mess from the non-stop nana…it was like cleanin after the Hiroshima Bomb was dropped into my nose!!!Not a pretty sight a swear…Finally it has gone down a lot n the fuckin nana has stopped coming out…all i have to say is DIE U INFECTION!!! N DUN COME BACK!!!

Finally, while workin on my assignment today I just went surfing for songs on www.youtube.com…n i stumbled upon this old chinese MTV called Tong Hwa by Wang Kwong Lang or someone like tat and I have to admit it’s a pretty good song…Hey remember guys, I aint one to listen to chinese songs (except Jay Chou-coz he has a wide selection of songs) coz bout 99.99999% of chinese songs are all those sobby ones n omg i cant stand em sometimes…Are chinese people really all that emo??? GGEEEEEZZZ! But as I was saying, this video is pretty good n d song too I might add…at least the guy has talent n plays the piano, n plus the girl in this one is pretty cute too…hahahaha…oh there is this other korean vid that is pretty good too, called "I’m Just a Girl" or something bout a guy who takes out his eyeballs (yeah rite, as if tat is possible) n gives it to his girlfriend…damn nice song n furthermore OMG damn SAD lol…maybe it is true, Asian people are v emo…lol

Tong Hwa

One more thing…u have to watch this video, it’s damn funny!!! Ignore the link name…just trust me n watch it
Hard Gay

These past few weeks my luck has been bloody unlucky…First of all I got my ankle twisted badly again coz i was tryin to be a hero during soccer trainin and runnin for every ball. Tried to block a clearance by my ah beng friend KENJI!!! n when he kicked it hard to get it out (n trust me it was hard) i blocked it with my left n it was rite next to the ball, so it went *clack* n my ankle twisted outwards…from then on i knew i had twisted it badly. What made it worst is tat I had twisted that ankle really badly before, i had torn a minor ligament there about 2 years ago…i was omg!!! there goes my few weeks of preparing myself for the reason…wah swollen like a horse’s nuts!!! although maybe not exactly tat big lah…lol

Then my Maxtor 200gb hard disk drive got corrupted!!! All my anime, movies and some photos were lost when I lent it to my mate Aceng…sigh i was like fuck!!! my luck cant b that bad rite? WRONG!!! that same week I decided to start playin soccer, after 2 weeks on the sidelines…It was a friendly n i decided to take the chance so i brought my boots along even though i was so exhausted…played alrite, then after the game I went for lunch. After lunch when I went back to Johan’s car, I opened the boot, n to my horror, my soccer bag was gone and all that was left was my Morrissey sunglasses and the case for it! I was like WWWWTFFFFFFFF!!! Both my boots were in there as well as everything else i used for soccer…both my boots RRP cost $600 aussie!!! sigh…i was like cursing my luck the next few days…Even my teammates kept sending me smses to cheer me up…So eventually I had to spend another $300 on new boots…yes 300 fuckin AUSSIE dollars! cant blame me if i have expensive taste with boots rite?

Then on the recent sunday, I think I had my worst game for the year so far, I even got clattered into the ground from a tackle. I went runnin for a ball n one of d opposition players (Botswanian team) came for the ball to when rammed into each other n he stuck out his leg as well…all i remember was i felt the big impact coz i was runnin fast n next thing I hit the ground n my head went BHAM!!! on the ground…my manager ran straight to me n asked if i was ok…I was a bit woozy but I tot I could still go on, but after awhile I realise that wooziness was still there n i couldnt keep balance, so i stopped for the half. After the game, both Johan n my manager said, man u flew man when u crashed into the player just now…I was like, REALLY?! I told them all i knew was tat I felt my head hit the ground real hard tat’s all.

Felt like I was stoned only without smoking any weed!!! But so far i think things have been getting better, and hopefully my luck does change lah…see how it goes…Pray for me all bros ok! Cheers! Hope u all have had a better few weeks than I have…Laterz!!!

Well one main change since i last updated this blog is tat…wait for it…a lil more…

I’VE GONE BALD!!! well not totally shaven lah…just clipped it to a no2(it’s like the second shortest lah)

When everyone saw me they were like WTF!!! &%$*^^&%*!$)#(*

lol…I kept on answering the same question. "Why did u do it?" So i reply in total earnest…I tot it would b sexy…hahahaha no lah the real thing i said was coz i just got bored n one mornin i woke up with the urge of shaving it…u know lah like kinda a rush of blood to the head thing…So far i’ve gotten mixed reactions…Some say they prefer me with hair n i shouldnt do this to myself again and some say it looks good n i look more mature…yeah i know wat ur thinking (ME? MATURE!!!??? LOL).

Anyway enuff of tat…n supposedly quite a few of my relatives are beginning to think i’m gay…sad aint it…Why do u ask? well i guess it is coz I always wear bright colours tat people back home arent used to, i’ve got a supposedly big diamind earring…BLING BLING!!! n i once painted my nails black (well my cousin made me do it anyway for Chinese New Year)…Went clubbing on Fri nite as it was Cezzane’s last clubbin nite b4 she flies back to Malaysia n it was Hawaiian nite at Lavish…was pretty good but i couldnt really dance coz my ankle is still swollen from soccer trainin coz i twisted it…I had that flower necklace on me tat nite n I SWEAR if my relatives from back home were there, i think my reputation as being gay would SKYROCKET!!! phew!!!

On Sunday I went to celebrate my niece’s first birthday!!! WOHOO!!! so cool…bein n uncle to a small lil bak pau cheek baby (bak pau is a small chinese bun with bbq pork in it, if u were wondering)…We had a bbq, heaps of people n a mobile animal farm…with a lamb, calf, turkey, chickens, guinea pigs, bunnies the works lah!!! hahahahaha…was freakin hot though!!! omg 36 degrees…thank god for the shaved head…but i think if i totally clean cut shave it now i reckon i’ll b able to see like the burn marks from the sun…lol…the best part bout havin my head shaved is tat every mornin now i dun need to worry bout stylin my hair n i wun need to use a lot of shampoo too…lol save money…but the worst would b when it starts growing a bit longer, it’s gonna be so unproportionate…we’ll see wat happens lah…till then im offs!!!

Spent my last nite in Malaysia at the Chingay parade in JB…Man, Chingay is just the best especially with all ur friends…Chingay is held on the 21st day after CNY or something like tat n there will b a whole parade n bringing out the gods for a walk…the gods are placed inside pagodas n everyone carries them around the city n shakes them…so if ur plannin to shake or carry em u have to bring a towel n place it on ur shoulder or else u’ll feel the worst pain in ur shoulder d next day although even with the towel u will still feel it but then again it wun b so bad…lol

Everyone was there, Loh, Shenton, Lawrence, Bernard, Gan, Calvin, Kenneth, Terence, Sherman, Hani, Amil n Rodney…man…we all had a blast n after that went with Gan n the rest to see some drag racing…man!!! It was so much fun n we ran like mad when everyone heard the police were coming!!! Tat was the biggest rush of blood i’ve ever had n boy did it feel good!!!

The next day I went in to Singapore early in the mornin to makan there to celebrate my dad’s bday!!! I was so exhausted coz i only slept like 3 hours…far out…SHenton, Lawrence, BErnard n Sasha came down to the aiport tat nite to send me off…Thanks GUYS!!!

I’d like to thank all my friends back in Malaysia who spent their time entertainin me esp when i was being a pain in the ass…U GUYS ROCK!!!

Guess wat I did on Valentine’s? My mum, sis n I opened up the treasure chest of photo albums…Man it was so cool!!! looked through all our baby pics as well as my parents’ old photos…Every year I have to look thru em, might sound cheesy but man who cares I love it!!! All of us (my 2 sis n I) have our own baby growing up albums n it was just great lookin back at em n saying how much we have changed, how bad we looked, how cool the retro clothes mum n dad had…

If my dad still had em I reckon i’ll have a go at em n wear em out one day…lol…Retro is back anyway n it has always been cool…I’ve always loved aviators (those Top Gun sunglasses) n people always ask me why…so i said it’s just cool vintage…n I found an old photo of me as a kid wearing one too…so i can prove to my friends tat i’ve been wearing aviators since i was a kid…lol…

Then there were the old primary school pictures n man I hav to admit, we were damn naughty n mischievious kids man…all of us…Bernard, Lawrence, Marcus, Kenneth, etc…We looked damn different too…BErnard had his straight fringe n Law was kinda chubby n I, well I was just even smaller than I am now…lol…That’s why photos are always good to keep…It just helps preserve the good ol days!!!

Lookin at my cute lil niece, (there she is with my dad)

I began to wonder, gee she’s so small, cute, clueless n without a care in the world but after awhile she’ll be able to walk n explore her surroundings even more but still without a care in the world…then she’ll begin talkin n letting her thoughts out…ahhhh…THOUGHTS!!! She’ll begin to realise how her thoughts n decisions will mold her life n sooner or later she will b at d point i am rite now…wondering what life has prepared for me over the next for years…This will b my final year of uni n I will be starting work (yes full time, hardcore work) the next year…although it’s not like i havent done full time work before, I just did it last year during my Industry year n boy even though i enjoyed myself with the new experience, to a certain extent it was like AARGGHH!!! make it stop!!!

Maybe i should let my niece watch the children’s classic, Peter Pan, then she’ll know sooner or later what Peter Pan meant when he said "I dun ever wanna grow UP!!!" Man those words are stuck in my head now like that big tahi hidung that u cant get out of ur nostrils no matter how hard u dig, heck it might go in even further…

Talkin to my friends back in Malaysia bout the good ol days back in Primary n Secondary school really really made me miss those times, and then it struck me…all my seniors, parents, older friends used to tell me to enjoy school life n stop moanin bout homework n stuff like tat…GEEEZZZ could have tried to convince me more back then rite GUYS!!! if u did maybe i would really really listen…back then I tot, man workin would b great…no exams to study for, no rotanning (being caned), no waking up at 6am in the mornin everyday, no tuition classes!!!…far out!!!

Then another thing my niece will have to learn is falling in love n how it can feel so great n at the same time can bring u down like an anvil falling from the sky in looney tunes n ur the freakin coyote that just waits for it to fall on him…i have to say, I aint the greatest person to talk to about relationships coz i never really got into a real solid one b4…so sad to say i have to learn a bit more to educate my niece in the future…lol…then I was talkin to Lawrence the other day bout Valentine’s day n I honestly found it funny how we were thinking, "hmmm…looks like no date for Valentine’s this year"…as if I ever had one before anyway, it was more like a note to himself…lol…then Lawrence suddenly talked bout getting a gf that he will be with forever coz he aint young anymore n wouldnt want to go thru another break up n start all over again…That made me think again…shit…I am turnin 22 this year n thinkin bout marriage is a scary thing…lol…WTF!!! get the word out of my head…man I’m still too young to get married…

The funniest thing was tat we were talkin to Shenton n his mum bout dating younger girls…lol…inspired by the cute little Chiyo from Memoirs of a Geisha…we were thinkin eh there is nothing wrong with groomin a girl that is bout 14 now…lol…Shenton’s mum’s idea tat one, n by the time she grows up to 22 we’ll be like 30 and just ripe for marriage wat…even a 5 years difference aint tat bad…heck my parents’ age gape is 5 years n so are most other people…hahahahaha (generalising there) dun blame me if a statistician reads this n realises Im wrong…lol…but then again life is all bout living one step at a time…so here is to another 50 years of growing up (hopefully I die happy, n have a few grandchildren or greatgrandchildern)…lol…CHEERS!!!